Happy Halloween Luvlies!
I am beyond excited for today! It is currently 43 degrees right now and I am freezing my ass off! Someone just walked into my class dressed like Jesus. Here are my plans for today...
So I obviously have to finish the school day which should be not fun. I have a presentation today on my very own makeup business. It is also a notes day in Stats and I am not looking forward to it. After school though, John and I are going to pick up Andrew from school and carve our pumpkins before the night begins. Andrew already carved his last night and he really wanted to care Jack Skellington so that's exactly what we did. I think I'm going to carve a dragon and i'm not sure what John is going to end up carving. I just know that it won't be as good as mine.
So after that I have to get ready for my costume. Not quite sure exactly what I'm going to do. I know that I wanna be a purge person but I'm not sure on what I'm going to wear yet. Probably just a black dress with some shoes and a mask. I'll let you guys see what exactly i'm wearing tomorrow. John is going to be a purge person as well. Andrew is going as a friendly skeleton. He wanted to be scary but he wasn't big enough to fit the kids costumes just yet.
We plan to take Andrew trick or treating tonight as soon as it gets dark. Krishan will probably be joining us (he's literally like a part of our family) and after Andrew gets a ton of candy, John and I will probably drop him off at home and go do our own thing with our friends. Boba anyone?
That's all for today! Will update you guys tomorrow!
Good morning Luvlies,
It has been nearly two weeks since I have written. It has gotten to that weird and awkward phase in the weather where it's cold in the morning and hot in the afternoons. It's extremely difficult to plan an outfit these days...
Family Update: I won't lie. We have been struggling financially and we're experiencing some difficulties. I saw my man cry for the first time in a year and my heart sank. I love how much he loves us and how much he wants us to be okay. Andrew just had a double pink eye that I seriously don't know how he got. I'm overcoming an extreme sore throat. It hasn't been the best for our little family but we will make it just like we always do. Even if this downside, we managed to do something fun together. We recently just went to the park and had the time of our lives. Andrew loved it and we got a little soccer practice in for the upcoming season this spring. We got some ice cream afterwards and it was really fun. John made a vlog of it and I will link it down below. I love my family and I know we will be alright in the end.
October 24th is the day my stepdad died. We went to visit his grave which is conveniently five minutes away from our house. I get sad sometimes when I think about him but I mostly think about the happy things that he did for me and my sister. I have always referred to him as my dad because that's exactly what he was to me. He had stepped up to the plate and raised me like I was his own. I felt like my relationship with him was always closer than my relationship with my own mother. I could always count on him for moral support. He attended every single one of my awards ceremonies and provided the most support that he could when I had Andrew. I miss him every single day and my heart breaks when I think about my sister and how she does not have that type of love and support in her life when she will be needing it the most. I pray that my sister will find someone who will love her and support her when I am gone at college. She is too young to be taking on the responsibilities of taking care of the house and watching my mom's baby. My dad would be so disappointed if he were here now. Before my dad died, he told me that he hopes that John and I would end up together and get married one day. His final wish to me and I fully intend to follow it.
That is all for today. RIP Dad.
The most important thing about me and my life is my family. They define who I am and what my life is actually about. They play the biggest and most important role in my life and will probably play the biggest role in this website. Here's my story...
I was 13 when I had my baby. Yes, that is young. Yes, he is perfectly healthy. And no, I don't really care about what people have to say about me. I learned really early what it is to be an adult. I was barely a teenager and I sacrificed all of those years of being a teen to be a mother. I loved every moment of that sacrifice.
Andrew is the absolute light of my life. He is strong, healthy, and the smartest kid I know. He's going to school and loves it more than anything. He cries when he has to stay home on the weekends. He looks up to his dad and protects his mom. He is the most precious thing that John and I have ever held in the world and I don't think that either of us would have wanted to spend our lives any different.
John and I have dated off and on for years. 7 years, to be exact. I know what you're thinking. These kids have been "dating" since fifth grade? That is correct. It wasn't really dating if you think about it. He was one of my best friends and exactly what I needed at the time. He still is. He supports me more than anyone in my entire life has and I can't thank him more for it. He has always been the constant in my life and was always there for me when I truly needed it.
We only really dated for a year in seventh grade and we took a long break. It is now senior year and we found our way back to each other.
We all live together and its going amazing. John makes my coffee in the morning and we all get ready in the small bathroom together. It is wonderful. Being with them is like living in our own little world and I am prepared to live in this world forever.
It's a nice morning and I feel like today will be a good day. The weather seems almost perfect and I am praying that the world will be generous and give me a much needed break. I'm still feeling a little tired from everything... Even with a large cup of coffee. I've been feeling extremely grateful lately considering what has been happening in the world.
I can't thank my family enough for getting me through each day. And family doesn't just mean blood. My best friend literally knows me better than I know myself and she helps me so much when I need it.
I don't think I give her enough credit. It feels as if we have been friends since the beginning of time and I love her so much for being able to stick by me. Not many people have. Even when my own blood family had abandoned me, she had always been there for me. Many of my friendships don't last but I will never doubt ours.
She is a beautiful person inside and out and I know she will make the most positive impact on this world. She was created so she could make this terrible world a better place. Her amazing ability to love and care for others is like none other. She will make an amazing mother and wife one day. She deserves more than all of the love and happiness that this earth can offer her.
I don't want to think about the years that we won't even talk but I know that distance is inevitable. We have been so close for nearly a decade and the thought of not being able to call or see her when I have a problem scares me. We're both going off to college at the end of this school year and I hope we don't drift apart. Even if we do, she will always be in my mind. She has made such an impact on my and my son's life and I will always remember and appreciate that.
I wish her the best life possible. I wish she wouldn't ever have to experience heart break and death. She doesn't deserve that type of heart wrenching pain. I will always be there for her when she needs it and I know she will always be there for me. She deserves more than the world and I hope that one day she finds it.
Good Afternoon Luvlies,
So typically I write the first thing in the morning but today was a reverse minimum day which means that we start school at 12:41 instead of 7:58. Each class is only 20 minutes so there is really no reason to show up to school at all. But since it is my senior year and my very last Reverse Minimum Day ever, I decided to enjoy it and come to school. It will probably be the only time where a class is only 20 minutes.
This morning, John and I decided to go to breakfast with all of our friends at a great little place called Mikes Diner. We had around 7 people go with us and it was fun. We're all lazy and never get up in time to have and enjoy a breakfast together so it was nice today. We also took a little "family" trip to Dutch Bros. I got a caramelizer and I honestly think that Dutch is overrated. Just me though.
I love days like today. Just a fun day with friends, laughter, and absolute bullshit that my stupid friends do. I think I'll be able to look back at these days and just smile because I love these types of memories. The type that everyone is smiling and laughing. Nobody fights, no shade is thrown. We all just act like idiots and that's the best part, we're just a whole bunch of idiots who love each other.
That's all for today since I only have twenty minutes to write lol.
Good Morning Luvlies,
It is super cold this morning and I am here for it! I've waited so long for this ugly ass hot weather to go away and I am so proud of my girl, MOTHER EARTH, for coming in clutch with this crisp ass morning! Its sweater weather yall.
So it's Friday and it's my weekend with the two babies. Grace is coming and I haven't decided what to do with the kids yet. They are so energetic and it's hilarious when they are together. They're only 3 and 1 but they act like adults. Grace bullies Andrew and Andrew always keeps Grace in check. They love each other so much and it's adorable.
I've been in the creative mood lately and I don't know why. I need to do something to get this creativity out. I might do a painting or a sketch. I've been leaning towards doing a cover. I'll let you guys know.
Sadly, that is all today.
It is a gloomy Monday. Everything in the world seems to be slowing down and speeding up at the same time. As if that is possible. I started my day off with no coffee and as you coffee fanatics know, that is never a good thing.
John and I had a tremendous fight this weekend and things are finally starting to blow over. Last night we slept in the same bed but it felt as if we were in different worlds. If you have never experienced this, let me simplify it down for you. You love this person more than anyone in the world. You care about this person more than anyone in the world. You're not even a foot away from them but you try to keep to yourself. Hoping that the other person isn't strong enough to stay away. You struggle with yourself and your heart slowly breaks with each second that you're not in their arms. All of this because the both of you are stubborn. Nobody wants to be the weak one who broke first. So you sit there all night. Close to the person you love but feeling as far away as ever.
Enough with the sad stuff guys. Let's talk about the real depressing stuff now.
It is October of my Senior Year. Can anyone think of the depressing thing that goes on during this time? College Application Time! Yay. I must admit, I am excited, nervous, and sad all at the same time. I have already started to think about which colleges I would like to apply for but I'm not completely sure on where I want to go yet. It really depends on what plan is the best for my family. I'm mainly thinking about CSUs here in California. Maybe community college. John and I have both agreed that we're tired of the Sacramento scenery. We want something different. Something that will take care of us as a family. San Diego sounds nice. Maybe San Marcos? Dominguez Hills? Let's just focus on one thing at a time.
Okay guys thanks for reading.
mother. lover. none other.